Willis in Boca

This weekend, Willis took time out for some much needed R and R in Boca with one of our producers.

Youngest known FOTCAR, Allison, is really excited to meet Little Willis

Willis chats up a few pawns.

Finally it is time to catch some rays by the pool.

It soon becomes clear that Willis cannot swim, and he is a bit top heavy.

Willis drys off.

CHECKMATE!

Little Willis ponders the mystery of life. Did it really begin in the sea? Did I get sand in my uniform? Do we really have to go home?

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

It's 4:12 New York, do you know where your talk show is? It's the New New Cactus and Reed Show, with Witchblade actress, Yancy Butler, Peyton Manning, and Kiefer Sutherland.

Today the Cactus and Reed Show welcomed Yancy Butler, star of the cancelled TV show Witchblade. We would like to reassure viewers that she is in no way indicative of the type of guests we will continue to have at the New New Cactus and Reed Show. One of our producers saw her at a Mets game last year and promised to have her on. That's it.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

It's 4:12 New York...do you know where your talk show is? Today's guests on the New New Cactus and Reed Show, Gilette and Hicks, the new owners of the Liverpool football club, Peyton Manning, Mike Ditka, and Muhammad Ali.

Today we welcome the new American owners of one of England's most revered football clubs, Liverpool. The Amercians bought the club after a failed attempt by Dubai oil barons. Now Liverpool can look forward to ownership by Hicks, a fervent Bush supporter and Gilette, the owner of one of the largest factory farms in the world, responsible for countless acts of animal cruelty and untold amounts of pollution. Congratulations Liverpool fans!

Monday, February 5, 2007

It's 4:12, time for the New New Cactus and Reed Show with Eli Manning's competent older brother and Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning, grumpy Mike Ditka, and Jack Bauer.

Today on the New New Cactus and Reed Show we welcome Peyton Manning who can finally throw that monkey off of his back after turning in a not-terrible performance in the Super Bowl. Manning is glad that now he will no longer have to endure the endless Dan Marino comparisions, and that he can finally sell his current car, a 1999 Ford Taurus since the Super Bowl MVP wins a new Cadillac. Just what someone who makes 8 figures a year needs....a free car!!

Friday, February 2, 2007

Live from New York, it's the New New Cactus and Reed Show. Now they ain't here to start no trouble, please welcome, the 1985 Chicago Bears, Mike Ditka, and Padma Lakshmi.

In advance of Sunday's Super Bowl XLI, featuring the 2007 Chicago Bears, today on the New New Cactus and Reed Show, it's the rapping and dancing 1985 Chicago Bears. Who could ever forget the vocal stylings of Mike Singletary or the dance moves of bad boy quarterback Jim McMahon? The Super Bowl Shuffle will always remain one of the finest moments in NFL musical history. Joining the Bears is their teddy bear of a coach, Mr. Mike Ditka, telling all of our fans they're #1.

C + R Happy Hour Number Two

The Director of Booking and the Artistic Director with Willis at the Blue Bar at the Algonquin Hotel. Here we hoped to meet up with one of the Cactus and Reed Show's most beloved guests, New York's oldest bartender, Wong Hoy.



Unfortunately, it was Wong Hoy's night off but the bartender was fantastic and even posed for a photo with Willis. Willis was slightly offended however when the bartender held him at arm's length and proclaimed "Oooooh a little doll!" before the photo.

One of our newest FOTCARS (Fans of the Cactus and Reed Show) poses with Willis.

After the Algonquin, the C + R Happy Hour moved to Cellar Bar where Willis danced the night away. Here Willis poses with one of our producers and a faithful FOTCAR.

Two of our most loyal FOTCARS with Willis at Cellar Bar.

Here a HOTCAR (Hater of the Cactus and Reed Show) tries to drown Willis with a beer. Security was called and the HOTCAR was escorted back to Connecticut but the trauma was too much for Willis...the party broke up soon after that.

Thanks to all the FOTCARS and one HOTCAR for making the New New Cactus and Reed Show Happy Number Two a fantastic success. Fake Television Forever!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Live from New York, it's the show so nice, they named it thrice, it's the New New Cactus and Reed Show. Today's guest...from Heroes, Hiro Nakamura, Kiefer Sutherland, and at 6'9 from Louisiana, Willis Reed.

Today's guest, Hiro Nakamura, is the star of the hit TV show, Heroes. Hiro is portrayed by Masi Oka who also played a philosophy student in the first season of Gilmore Girls. The show has been such a huge success for NBC that they have already anounced spinoffs for next season: Heroes, Miami and Heroes, Los Angeles.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Live from New York, it's the New New Cactus and Reed Show with tonight's guest, Mrs. Salman Rushdie, Padma Lakshmi, Kiefer Sutherland, and Wong Hoy.

Tonight on the Cactus and Reed Show, we welcome former model and current host of TV's hit reality show, Top Chef, Padma Lakshmi. Padma has been oft-criticized for her lack of actual food knowledge and her regular pot smoking, but frankly, no one can look as good tasting Ilan's already-ran Spanish dishes or pout as well eating Marcel's foams as Padma can. She is also terrific at saying "Kenmore Pro Kitchen."