Thursday, August 17, 2006

Live from New York, it's the Cactus and Reed Show, with Dennis and Karen Koslowski, nee Mayo, Rosie Perez, and Intern #1.

Today, a very special Cactus and Reed Show with the divorceable Koslowskis. Karen and Dennis first met while Karen was a waitress in Florida. Dennis soon plucked her out from among his many mistresses and made her his second wife. He lavished gifts upon her including a $2 million birthday party in Sardinia featuring a replica of the statue of David that pissed vodka and a cake in the shape of a life sized nude woman. Dennis is currently residing in a medium security federal prison because of his embezzling of millions of dollars from his former company, Tyco. Karen decided that conjugal visits once a month in a small metal trailer and millions of dollars in expendable income and properties just wasn't enough; forcing her to file for divorce earlier today. We wish them both the best of luck during this trying time and hopefully Dennis will easily find himself another bitch in prison.