Turn, Turn, Turn.....

As the Bible says, to everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn, and so today we turn on the Cactus and Reed Show. After a lengthy hiatus we return to mourn the passing of our beloved co-host, New Cactus. New Cactus was funny and quick witted, always there with a pointed jab to counteract Willis's seriousness. He will be missed.

New Cactus Entombed

New Cactus in his Eternal Resting Place...we will miss you

Management comes down from his Ivory Tower to say a few words




















Even though we mourn the passing of our dear friend New Cactus, as P.T. Barnum said, the show must go on and so we welcome our new co-host. New New Cactus! May you not rot as quickly as Cactus and New Cactus as we look forward to many months of working with you.

NEW TABLE!!

Since the beginning of the Cactus and Reed Show, one of the staples of our set has been Origami Table. Lovingly and painstakingly constructed by one of our producers, origami table has been with us through thick and thin, but with the increasing popularity of the show an upgrade had to be made.....introducing.....
The new Cactus and Reed Show Table!!! Seen here with origami table, passing on the basket of chocolate keys to a new generation of Cactus and Reed set furniture.
The New Table..made with only a butterknife and modeling clay by our extremely talented Chairman of Infrastructure, 2A.
Cactus and the New Table get acquainted.
Willis greeting the New Table...come on Willis, smile for the camera!

New Table on set live at the Pantheon.

Vacation Hiatus

To all of the faithful viewers of the Cactus and Reed Show, we would like to apologize for the long hiatus the show has recently taken. After several weeks of stellar guests and hard hitting news stories, Willis was both physically and mentally exhausted. Lest he fall into the trap of drugs and alcohol like our last host Ms. Lohan, Willis took a much needed vacation to Italy. It was a semi-working vacation however. Willis took some time out from drinking copious amounts of red wine and watching German Popstar to scout locations and line up some of Italy's most famous celebrities for appearances on the show. This week we will be live from the Pantheon in Rome...so please stay tuned for new episodes and in the meantime enjoy these pictures from Willis's Italian Vacation. Ciao!

Monday, October 2, 2006

The Cactus and Reed Show will not be seen today in observance of Yom Kippur. Please feel free to enjoy your favorite past show, just not the episode with Mel Gibson.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Live from New York, on the New Cactus and Reed Show, today we bid a fond farewell to Intern #1, Sharlynn Page and the Butter Cow, and at 7 feet from Georgetown, Gumby Gumby.

Today, the Cactus and Reed Show bids a fond farewell to one of its own. Our very own Intern #1 is moving on to greener pastures. Even though Intern #1 was a little hesitant at first, she eventually embraced her role, coming through with such guests as Coming Out of the Closet Lance Bass and Cigar Box Fidel Castro. We can't say enough about her contributions to the show, so I'll just let her resignation letter do the talking.....

It is with great sorrow that I announce my resignation as Intern #1 from the Cactus and Reed Show. I came to know of the show during the last days at 787 when the producers would have discussions in "the parlor". MC Skilly Skillz and I were skeptical of this parlor talk show at first, but we have become lucky enough to partake in the growth and the "new direction" of the show during the Lindsay Lohan days. (By the way, I wish Ms. Lohan a speedy recovery in rehab.) Thanks to the Booker and MC Skilly Skillz for showing me the ropes of the show and allowing me to create my own guest every now and then. I have great faith that Intern #2a will be a wonderful addition to the show and it will continue to flourish amongst its porn community following and beyond. I will keep up to date on the show happenings through the blog and myspace pages and will spread the word about the greatness that is the Cactus and Reed Show at my new office. It was the best internship EVER! I hope to make it to happy hour tomorrow but if I can't I wish you all the best! Sincerely,Intern #1

The Intern

In addition to the New Cactus, yesterday the show also welcomed a new Intern. Next week our beloved Intern #1 will be departing and Intern #2 will move up to the #1 spot so we decided to bring some new blood into the fold. Because of the first cactus's untimely demise and some uncertainty surrounding the New Cactus, we thought it best to have a Cactus Intern waiting in the wings. In the above picture, Wednesday's guest, Shaggy, chats up the New Intern.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Today on a VERY special Cactus and Reed Show....the NEW CACTUS!!!!!

After the untimely demise from a mysterious skin disease of our previous host Cactus, we here at the Cactus and Reed Show had a hard time finding someone to fill his pot. Originally it was thought that Lindsay Lohan would be a good balance for the more serious Reed but lately their differences have become an issue. Also La Lohan has recently been involved in a number of public scandals that have begun to worry our producers. So, after an arduous search along a desolate, barren stretch of 28th street, two of our most dedicated staff members found the NEW CACTUS! It was a harrowing return trip as they were caught in a surprise deluge, but they eventually made it back to the set in time for today's show. Everyone please give a warm welcome to the NEW CACTUS!

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

SCANDAL!! Today, scandal rocked the set of the Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan when it was revealed that co-host and Reed replacement Lindsay Lohan appeared at former guest Jeremy Piven's 41st birthday party wearing only a fleshkini and a new tattoo. There was some speculation that the fleshkini may actually have been carefully stitched slices of prisciutto.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

We thought that things couldn't get more tense than they were for yesterday's show but Wednesday's show was cut short by a power(trip) outage at the studio. We decided to delay the guest until Thursday due to time constraints but the E Street Band rocked the studio with the classic Born in the USA! The whole staff breathed a sigh of relief after the show and looked forward to a complete lineup for tomorrow.

Today on the Show....

Today, live from Asbury Park, New Jersey, it's the Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan, with special musical guests Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band!

Today's show got off to a bit of a shaky start as one of our producers mysteriously disappeared for several hours. The show kicked off with our announcer, PB, needing three takes to get the opening anouncement perfect...first it was the E Steet Band, then the next take, Bruce Springstreen, but he finally got it right on the third take. There is some concern surrounding his mental health, however we hope a short vacation will rectify the situation. The band then kicked off the show with a rousing rendition of "Born to Run." After the song, the band sat down for a chat. Bruce discussed how much his recent tour with the Seeger Sessions Band sucks and how he's only doing it to up his street cred in the folk music world. Max Weinberg discussed his time with the comedic genius Conan O'Brien, and Stevie Van Zandt talked about his recent acting turn on the Sopranos. There was almost an embarrassing scene because no one knew that Patti Scialfa was actually in the band, we just thought she was "Bruce's Wife." The Big Man discussed his upcoming gastric bypass surgery and the other guitarist and the keyboardist sat silent because no one cares who they are.

Show History

The New Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan is an entertainment themed talk show based in New York City. Its hosts are Nesting Doll Willis Reed, the fabled center for the New York Knicks, and the Lindsay Lohan Mug.

Originally broadcast from the 9th Floor parlor at 787 7th Avenue, the Cactus and Reed Show began as a politically oriented roundtable discussion, with Cactus dispensing its more conservative viewpoint and Reed opining on the liberal side of the issues. Highly respected, the Cactus and Reed show went on to win 3 consecutive “Parly” awards from December 2005 through February 2006.

In March 2006, the Cactus and Reed Show moved to its new studios at 855 6th Avenue, and began a successful run until Cactus fell ill and sadly passed on. However, despite critical acclaim, the Cactus and Reed show had been hemorrhaging viewers and was plummeting in the ratings. Market research showed that many viewers were put off by Cactus’ thorny personality and prickly nature. Willis, on the other hand, was beloved by all. So, after Cactus’ untimely death, the producers decided to change the show’s direction, replaced cactus with the Lindsay Lohan Mug and moved the show to its current pop culture format.

Despite the format change, the show has never been more popular. It enjoys both critical acclaim and popular success.